As I’m sitting in my lovely little house attempting to study for a test I suddenly got the urge to write a blog post, which is kind of odd because I haven’t posted in about 3 months…. Ooops! Haha. The other day a friend of mine brought this to my attention and said I needed to change that, so here I am making an effort to start my little blog up again.
SENIOR YEAR. Wow. It’s hard to believe that I’ve been at Belmont for that long and that I’m creeping up to the finish line quite quickly. The closer I get to graduation the further away I feel from knowing what exactly I want to do with my life. But it’s interesting because you might think that this would totallllly freak me out and cause worry and confusion BUT instead God has changed my view completely. I’m excited by the fact that I don’t have super clear ambitions yet. It simply means that I can go anywhere, do anything, and basically just be ME and everything will work out beautifully.
I heard a sermon a few months ago in which our pastor was talking about following God’s favor in your life. He said something like “if you’re a singer sing! If you’re an accountant account! If you’re kind be KIND!” It was a very simple point, but it hit me head on. Throughout my college experience I’ve doubted my talents and strengths. I’ve spent many nights thinking about what exactly I’m passionate about, what I love to do the most, and as a classical piano major I came to the rather alarming conclusion that playing the piano is not it. I wasted a lot of time worrying about my major, and wondering why I was even in school. I felt like I was the only person on the face of the earth that felt SUPER confused about their gifts and talents. It was almost like I started believing that I just didn’t have any.
One thing that I’ve always known I’m good at and that I enjoy is being around people. Encouraging people, making gifts for people, talking to people, and helping people are my favorite things to do! Kind of abstract I know, but those were the only things that I felt sure of. But I felt very confused about how those personality traits would fit into a career or my “grown up” life. I just wanted God to tell me WHAT I was good at, what I needed to DO, I wanted him to explain to me what I’m passionate about and why, and what I could do with it.
Hearing that just being kind and bubbly, that just being me was following God’s favor INSPIRED me! I suddenly realized that I didn’t have to do something tangible like making something or playing music or whatever in order to be using my talents. God created my to thrive when I’m helping others, God created my to encourage and love, those are my talents. Those are my passions. WOW. That’s a pretty great realization because basically I know that I will be successful anywhere doing anything simply because I am ME and I am HIS! It sounds kind of silly to say that I could be happy working anywhere as long as I’m around people and as long as I’m helping people, but that’s really how I feel. And guess what! That’s OKAY! I don’t have to know exactly what and where and how and when. I just have to follow. What a relief! J
So, as senior year progresses I will constantly remind myself that I am valuable and talented simply because I am a daughter of the King! I refuse to worry about the future. I refuse to waste any of these last lovely college moments by freaking out about what will happen AFTER graduation. I’m provided for so there is nothing to worry about. That is GREAT news J
This scripture has been the theme for my semester and I wanted to share it with you. I’ve been thinking a lot about glorifying God through everything I do, and for a college student ablaze with Senior-itis it seems almost impossible to try my best at everything because I really feel quite apathetic about academia right about now. So I’ve been trying really hard to work ahead and stay on top of my school work this semester. I’m trying to do well, even if I don’t really enjoy a class. I’m trying to focus on the positive elements of my job, of being a piano major, of taking entrepreneurially financial management (AHHHH!!!!), and of being a student in general. I’m determined to put my best foot forward and have the greatest semester of my life, both relationally and academically. So, my prayer has been that God would reward my efforts and give me more energy, more tenacity, more joy, more passion, just MORE really. I’ve been asking him to “confirm and establish the work of my hands”. Whether it be writing an essay, researching for a revenue forecast, memorizing a Chopin ballade, or sizing clothes at Anthropologie, I’m asking for confirmation and establishment in all areas of my life. This verse has been the fuel to my fire this semester and I’d encourage everyone to just make this simple request to the Father. He will surprise you with how awesome his provision is! I promise.
“And let the beauty and delightfulness and favor of the Lord our God be upon us; confirm and establish the work of our hands--yes, the work of our hands, confirm and establish it.”
Psalm 90:17
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