Patience and Provision

Patience and provision. These seem to be the key themes of my life these days. As I’m getting closer and closer to graduation I feel stretched in both of these areas in expected, and SUPER unexpected ways

I'm amazed by the Lord’s provision. He never ceases to surprise me with financial provision (like having two jobs lined up for post-graduation!), wonderful new friendships, and the strengthening of old ones. However, I feel like there has been more patience and trust involved in His process of providing for me lately than ever before. Doesn’t it always seem like He waits until the last minute to tell you the plan, or provide a solution? Right when you’re REALLY starting to freak out? right when you REALLY have to trust Him? I mean REALLY trust Him. At least that is the trend in my life. I think this is because I tend to be a BIT of a planner. I like to know what’s coming. But God likes to keep me on my toes. He likes to stretch me and constantly remind me that life isn’t about the plan. It’s really about the process. Sometimes this annoys me, especially when I’m feeling REALLY stretched and impatient, but mostly it makes me smile and laugh because I know that I’m GROWING!

I feel like last semester I spent so much time asking the Lord “what in the world am I supposed to do with my life? Am I supposed to stay in Nashville? WHY AM I HERE?!?!?!!?!” etc., and instead of answering me directly He just gave me peace. Peace at the prospect of staying in Nashville. Peace at the prospect of whatever job(s) come my way. Just PEACE. Which is amazing and lovely. I feel like he was essentially saying “GRACE! I have a plan. A great one. I will provide for you in every single way. There is nothing for you to worry your curly blonde head about. You’re mine. I’ve got you. CALM IT DOWN! Graduating is the next chapter.” As this peace and a renewed sense of the importance of patience began to sink in His provision continued to flow, strong as ever.  

Random and serendipitous provision seems to be the theme. For example, in late November a customer at Anthropologie randomly asked me if I liked kids because she and her husband were looking for a new nanny. She basically said that she felt an instant connection to me, right when she walked in the door and saw me. She said “I never do this. But I just knew I needed to ask you!”  She took my contact information, and here I am a few months later with a nanny job with a lovely family lined up to start in May, right after graduation. I wasn’t even looking for another job! Also, my schedule will be flexible enough to allow me to continue working at Anthro, and hanging out with all of the lovely people that I am thankful to call co-workers and friends. Now that is what I call PROVISION!

Here’s another example. Hours at Anthro have been slim since retail naturally slows down between the holidays and the spring. I’ve often worried about having rent/grocery/gas money upon seeing my rather meager paycheck, and consistently random babysitting jobs have appeared in perfect timing to even out my bank account, and give me peace of mind.

Basically, the Lord has been reminding me, both through these serendipitous occurrences, and through the encouraging and wise words of friends, that I am always always ALWAYS provided for. That I need only trust Him. That I need only ask him. I’ve been praying for clarity and peace, and He’s given it to me. Even though I feel like I’m stuck in some crazy limbo in many areas of my life, I trust that they will all fall perfectly into place in the perfect time. Simply because I am Grace Meredith Waugh, daughter of the King! SO GOOD.

Psalm 37: 3-6

3Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed.

4Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.

    5Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.

    6And He will make your uprightness and right standing with God go forth as the light, and your justice and right as [the shining sun of] the noonday.

What's the plan?

As graduation approaches I’m constantly asked the dreaded question, “what are you going to do after you graduate? What do you plan to do with your degree in classical music? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?! Do you even know?”

Alright. Most people don’t ask it in such a dramatic way. But, you get my point. Ha.

I’ve dreaded this question because I do not have a seemingly legitimate answer. It isn’t very satisfying to say “well, I don’t want to go to grad school. I don’t plan on being a piano teacher or doing anything in particular with classical piano. I think I’ll keep working at Anthropologie and hopefully get another job or two, and maybe I’ll write some songs while I’m at it.” That answer doesn’t seem to satisfy anyone. In all honesty, I’ve recently felt pretty aimless and dream-less and I don’t have an answer. It seems like many of my dearest friends have these giant visions for their lives. They have a passion for something very specific and tangible, and they have a goal that they’re working towards. And for many this means grad school or moving far far FAR away.

Then there’s little me. All I really know is I like people. I love talking to people and helping/encouraging them in random ways. I also love music. Basically, I want to spend my life building relationships. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Everyone does that in some capacity I think that for me it means that I’m going to spend some time waiting. Waiting until I feel like I have a clearer vision, a clearer dream for my future.

However, I’m a bit of a planner. You could say that I like things to be in order, tidy, and thought out. Just ask my roommates ;) So, feeling like I’m almost in limbo, waiting around without a goal to work towards is not very comforting. BUT, amidst this seemingly confusing time there is one thing I’m sure of. I’m sure that my God loves to provide for me. He knows that I like to have a plan. He created me that way! SO, he has started bringing me random and serendipitous opportunities. He has started to present me with job offers for post graduation that are more than I could’ve asked for, and I wasn’t even looking! He has given me a sense of peace and ease about graduating by providing me with a (probable) full time job, and now I sort of have an answer for the post-graduation question! I feel like he’s saying “Alright my darling, I know you like to know what’s coming next, but I’m not going to show you the whole plan yet. But, here’s a little taste. Calm down little one! It’s going to be awesome. Be patient. Trust me. Hold tight.”

“Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him”.

Psalm 37:7